of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize