he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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