So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize