We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
