margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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