I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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