i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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