i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
