so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
