I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
we made out on top of his cat.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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