Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
