I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
oh god was she eating orange peels again
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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