I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
