Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
