I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
