The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
