you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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