haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Drake has all the answers
Pants are for mortals
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
