went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Terrible idea I love it
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
