She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
