pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
