And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
