I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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