just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Randomize