And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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