She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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