oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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