naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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