once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So here I am, sexting at work.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
