eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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