My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
