you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Im part way to drunk.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
