I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
