lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
