it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
