Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
