Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
