I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
