when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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