so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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