Apparently you make a good broom.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
