i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
