Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
