we're blogging at a bar
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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