I wish I could punch you in the face.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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