He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
