went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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