Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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