I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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