I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
