Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
