We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
