no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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