Betty ford says i'm here all night
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
