you didnt know i had herpes?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
