in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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