I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
