I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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