you guys were way drunker than both of me
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
