Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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