is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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