he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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